With Elli

Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash December is here again — the month of lights, songs, and togetherness. Yet for many of us, Christmas brings not only joy but also a wave of melancholy. I’ve always wondered why this happens — why a season that promises warmth often stirs sadness too. Perhaps it’s because Christmas is so tied to memory. It is not just a holiday — it’s a mirror. A mirror that reflects back our childhoods, our families, our traditions, and sometimes the absences we feel most sharply. The Melancholy of Christmas When I was a child, Christmas was the one time of year I felt safe, loved, and surrounded by warmth. My family house glowed with decorations, the smell of my mama’s food filled the rooms, presents waited under the tree, and for once, everyone came together. Even my dad, who I longed to feel closer to, would be there — and those dinners gave me a rare sense of belonging. It was magical. Mystical. And yes, also capitalist in its rituals of gifts and glitter — bu...

Have you ever left a social gathering feeling completely drained, Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash even though you didn’t “do” much? Or felt like you had to put on a mask to get through a conversation? You’re not alone — and for many autistic people, this experience is not occasional , it’s a daily reality. In this post, I want to share what I’ve learned through personal research, conversations with friends on the spectrum, and my own questions as a neurotypical person trying to better understand what it's like to live with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I’ll also reflect on how we can create more inclusive, compassionate spaces for everyone — diagnosed or not. 🌪 Why Does Socializing Feel So Overwhelming? 1. The Environment Is Sensory-Heavy Social environments are often full of loud sounds, bright or flickering lights, background noise, strong smells, and physical proximity. For many autistic people, these stimuli don’t fade into the background — they’re loud and co...

Photo by With Elli Emotions are an essential part of being human — they shape our connections, drive our decisions, and color our experiences. But for some, emotions don’t just whisper; they roar. One of the most challenging aspects of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), or the presence of BPD traits, is the intensity and rapid shifting of emotions. As someone who relates to several BPD traits, I’ve often felt like my emotional world was turned up to maximum volume. Small triggers can spark overwhelming feelings, and navigating those waves takes more energy than most people realize. But why does this happen? What makes the emotional experience in BPD so vivid, raw, and at times, extreme? Let’s explore what we know — both emotionally and neurologically — about these inner storms. 🧠 What Happens in the Brain? 1. The Amygdala: The Brain's Alarm System The amygdala is a small almond-shaped region deep in the brain, responsible for detecting threats and generating emotional re...