With Elli

There was a time in my life when I never lived alone. Photo By With Elli I went from my family home to relationships, friendships, and love stories — always trying to belong somewhere . I thought that being part of something meant I was safe, that I had meaning. But the truth is… I was scared of being by myself. I depended on people to define me — family, friends, partners — and I was constantly trying to hold things together, terrified that if something ended, I would disappear too. And yet, in the middle of all that effort to not be alone , I had never felt lonelier. Because I wasn’t with me. I didn’t even know who “me” really was. And honestly, I didn’t even like myself that much. Therapy changed that. It wasn’t easy — it still isn’t. But therapy gave me a mirror. It helped me see myself , slowly, without judgment. To sit with my own company, to hang out with myself, and to start — little by little — to like me. Sometimes, even to love me. I realized that for most of my life, I...

Photo By With Elli The word “trauma” is often used to describe painful experiences, but in psychology—especially in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) —it has a very specific meaning. In this context, trauma refers to an experience that involves actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence . It is the core of what professionals call Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders , such as PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder) and ASD (Acute Stress Disorder). What Counts as a Traumatic Experience? A person can be affected by trauma in a few different ways: Directly experiencing something life-threatening or violent. Witnessing such an event happening to someone else. Learning that a close family member or friend experienced a violent or accidental death or serious harm. Repeated exposure to very disturbing details of trauma (like rescue workers, police, or emergency staff). Watching upsetting things on TV or social media doesn’t...

Photo by With Elli There is a quiet, ongoing conversation within each of us — an inner dialogue that shapes how we think, feel, and act. Most of the time, it happens unnoticed. Yet, it is this dialogue — the words we say to ourselves, the tone we use, the comfort or criticism we offer — that adds to our emotional world. To “be the parent to your in ner child” means to become conscious of that inner conversation and learn how to nurture, protect, and guide the childlike part within you that still longs to feel seen, safe, and loved. Understanding Our Inner Structure Psychiatrist Eric Berne , the founder of Transactional Analysis (TA) , described the human psyche as composed of three ego states: the Parent , the Adult , and the Child . These inner roles are not abstract ideas — they are living parts of our inner world, shaped by early experiences and the people who raised us. The Inner Parent represents the voices, attitudes, and behaviors we absorbed from our caregivers. It can be n...

Photo by With Elli I feel a bit embarrassed to admit this, but I’m 32 years old and I’ve never really understood what PMS is. I knew the concept, of course — I’ve heard people talk about it all my life — but I never got it. So I decided to find out. 🌙 What Is PMS? Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a disruptive set of emotional and physical symptoms that appear before menstruation. The exact cause of PMS isn’t fully understood by researchers, but it’s believed to be linked to changes in hormone levels throughout the menstrual cycle. While PMS is mostly associated with the luteal phase (the time between ovulation and the start of menstruation), its causes are complex and may involve several interconnected factors. 🌸 Why Do We Have It? Although the cause is still uncertain, scientific studies suggest that PMS arises from the way our bodies and brains respond to hormonal fluctuations. Cyclic Changes in Hormones: The main theory is that PMS is related to the natural drop in est...

Friends are more than companions in our lives — they’re the people who walk beside us when life feels heavy and remind us that we don’t have to carry everything alone. Friends: How They Support You and Why You Need Them Friends help us hold the invisible weight of life. When we’re with someone we trust, we can let down our guard. We don’t have to explain every detail or pretend to be stronger than we feel. That sense of safety allows honesty and vulnerability to come through. Sharing worries, joys, and struggles with a friend doesn’t mean they’ll fix everything — but it reminds us that we’re not alone. Their presence makes even the heaviest burdens lighter. We need friends because they mirror back our humanity: they see us when we feel invisible, they remind us of our worth when we doubt it, and they walk beside us when life feels overwhelming. That’s why it feels so healing to unburden your soul to someone safe and loving. Why It’s So Important for Humans to Talk About Their Probl...

We all carry stress. Some days it’s light, other days it feels like a heavy stone on our chest. But what happens when the weight never lifts? When extreme stress stays with us for too long, it begins to shape our body, our mind, and even the way we see ourselves. I’ve been reflecting on these questions — about stress, trauma, ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, and burnout — and I want to share what I’ve learned. My hope is that this can guide anyone who wants to understand themselves or someone they care about a little better. What happens if we don’t deal with extreme stress? Stress isn’t just a feeling — it’s something the body experiences physically, emotionally, and mentally. Over time, if it’s not addressed, it can lead to: Physical effects : Chronic headaches, high blood pressure, heart issues, digestive problems, weakened immune system, and disturbed sleep. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood the body, affecting organs and tissues. Mental effects : Anxiety, depression, irr...

For many autistic people, social interaction feels like a performance — not because they’re dishonest, but because they’ve had to learn to "mask" their natural ways of being in order to be accepted, understood, or safe. This is called masking , and it can happen all day, every day. What Is Masking? Masking involves things like: Photo by Jens Riesenberg on Unsplash Imitating facial expressions and tone of voice Forcing eye contact Hiding stimming (like fidgeting or self-soothing movements) Suppressing emotions or overwhelm Studying and rehearsing what to say before saying it Pretending to be “okay” — even when they’re not Many autistic people start masking from a young age, often unconsciously. Over time, it becomes second nature — but it’s not natural. It’s learned. And it’s exhausting . It’s Not Just Strangers — It’s Everyone Masking doesn’t only happen in formal situations or with strangers. It often shows up in daily conversations with: Pho...

 

Photo by Tamta Manjavidze on Unsplash December is a season of lights, carols, and festive meals—but most of all, it’s a season of connection . Amidst the sparkle, what truly warms us are the shared moments with friends, family, and loved ones. Whether near or far, the heart of Christmas lies in our bonds with one another. 🌟 Ways to Stay Connected During the Holidays Write Letters or Notes: A handwritten card or letter is a gift of presence in words. Imagine writing a letter to a friend or even to your future self, sealing your hopes and gratitude inside. Small Acts of Kindness: Bake cookies for neighbors, donate warm clothing, or simply call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Shared Rituals: Light a candle together, exchange favorite Christmas memories, or sing carols as a family. Connection doesn’t need to be grand—it just needs to be real. 🍷 Greek Family Christmas Traditions In Greece, Christmas is as much about family, food, and meaningful rituals as ...

Photo by Theo Crazzolara on Unsplash As December deepens, the world feels wrapped in a quiet glow. Candles flicker in windows, lights shimmer across darkened streets, and the cold breath of winter invites us to pause and look inward. Christmas, with its rich layering of traditions, is not only a celebration of birth and renewal but also a weaving of ancient rituals into our present lives. 🌌 The Solstice Connection Just days before Christmas, the Winter Solstice marks the longest night of the year. Ancient cultures saw this as a threshold: the moment when darkness reaches its depth, and light is reborn. Fires, candles, and evergreen boughs were more than decorations—they were symbols of resilience, carrying the promise of return, of life beyond the cold. Today, when we light our Advent candles or gather around a Christmas tree, we echo these same gestures of hope. What was once ritual beneath starlit skies continues as a quiet thread in our own celebrations. 👉 This beautiful vi...

Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash December is here again — the month of lights, songs, and togetherness. Yet for many of us, Christmas brings not only joy but also a wave of melancholy. I’ve always wondered why this happens — why a season that promises warmth often stirs sadness too. Perhaps it’s because Christmas is so tied to memory. It is not just a holiday — it’s a mirror. A mirror that reflects back our childhoods, our families, our traditions, and sometimes the absences we feel most sharply. The Melancholy of Christmas When I was a child, Christmas was the one time of year I felt safe, loved, and surrounded by warmth. My family house glowed with decorations, the smell of my mama’s food filled the rooms, presents waited under the tree, and for once, everyone came together. Even my dad, who I longed to feel closer to, would be there — and those dinners gave me a rare sense of belonging. It was magical. Mystical. And yes, also capitalist in its rituals of gifts and glitter — bu...

Have you ever left a social gathering feeling completely drained, Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash even though you didn’t “do” much? Or felt like you had to put on a mask to get through a conversation? You’re not alone — and for many autistic people, this experience is not occasional , it’s a daily reality. In this post, I want to share what I’ve learned through personal research, conversations with friends on the spectrum, and my own questions as a neurotypical person trying to better understand what it's like to live with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I’ll also reflect on how we can create more inclusive, compassionate spaces for everyone — diagnosed or not. 🌪 Why Does Socializing Feel So Overwhelming? 1. The Environment Is Sensory-Heavy Social environments are often full of loud sounds, bright or flickering lights, background noise, strong smells, and physical proximity. For many autistic people, these stimuli don’t fade into the background — they’re loud and co...