With Elli

Photo By With Elli My Reflections on BPD Traits and Emotional Survival I want to start with something important: 👉 I haven’t been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). But I have been diagnosed with Borderline traits —patterns that reflect some of the emotional intensity, relational sensitivity, and inner instability that people with BPD often experience. I’m sharing this not to label myself or promote self-diagnosis, but to offer a window into how these traits show up in my life—and how I’m learning to live with them more gently. Because when I first started learning about BPD, something inside me exhaled. I felt seen in a way I hadn’t before. Something whispered, “This explains the part of you no one ever understood.” 🌧 What This Has Looked Like for Me Fearing abandonment , even when people haven’t left Overgiving until I’m emotionally depleted—then disappearing out of shame Feeling like a burden , while craving closeness with every fiber of my...

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash 🕊 The Room, the Wall, and the Dance of Co-Regulation Inside my mind, there's a room. It started as an image in therapy, a space where my younger self existed — isolated, frightened. A place with no doors, no windows. Just grey walls and silence. But over time, that room began to change. A door appeared. Then windows. Light entered. And for the first time, I could speak to the child inside — the younger version of me. I could sit with her. I could listen. I began imagining knocking down the wall that separates her world from the open, warm feeling of a living room — a safe, shared space. I wished I could free her. I still do. This process — of visualizing the inner child and slowly transforming their environment — is a therapeutic technique used in inner child work , guided imagery , and Internal Family Systems (IFS) . But it's also deeply tied to a concept called co-regulation . 💞 What Is Co-Regulation? Co-regulation is when two people help...

Photo by Peter Burdon on Unsplash I didn’t meet neurodiversity in a textbook or through a diagnosis. I met it through people. Through shared moments. Through experiences that quietly, powerfully changed me. I was young and curious. I thought I was there to offer help — to support with tasks, be patient, play games. But instead, I was invited into a different rhythm of the world. My first real encounter came as a young volunteer in Thessaloniki, at a special education school in Evosmos. Each child there taught me something no classroom ever had.  Later, I volunteered at the School for the Blind, also in Thessaloniki. It was there I truly realized: sensory experience is a universe of its own — and we each live in slightly different galaxies. I learned to slow down. To listen with more than my ears. To feel what didn’t need to be said. Then came Endynamei — a neurodivergent team of dancers, artists, and actors. Their performances weren’t just art. They were language. Expression in...

Photo by With Elli I’ve never really had a religion. At some point, I stopped believing in anything specific and leaned more toward a godless, deterministic way of thinking. But the truth is, I never truly committed to one belief or another — I didn’t want to belong to a group that tells you how to think, how to live, or how to build your moral code. Still, as I grow older, I find it harder to go through life without something to hold on to. Something greater than me — wiser, kinder — a superhuman presence that can offer comfort. Especially when I think about death, I feel a kind of relief imagining that I might see the people I love again. I know it's just a story my mind tells me because it cannot comprehend the void. But it helps. It soothes the part of me that longs for connection, continuity, and peace. So, I started diving into the many different religious and mystical traditions out there. I’m fascinated by the systems humans have created — not just for belief, but for heal...