"Lost Days": When the Sadness Takes Over

 Some days feel like they vanish into nothing.

Yesterday was one of those days. I couldn't do anything. I stayed in bed, feeling this heavy wave of sadness wash over me. I had no energy. It felt like I'd never have energy again. And the worst part? The thoughts that whispered in my head: “You’re worthless because you cannot function today.”

These days come unexpectedly. I don’t always know what triggers them, but at least once a month, it happens. A full day lost. And each time it happens, I ask myself the same questions:

• What is this?

• Why does it happen?

• Is this part of chronic depression or something else I’ve been diagnosed with?

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What Are “Lost Days”?

They are more than just “lazy” days. They are days when the mind and body seem to shut down, when the weight of existing feels too heavy. There’s no motivation. No spark. No forward motion. Just a fog that surrounds everything.

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Is This Connected to Chronic Depression or Anxiety?

Yes. It absolutely can be.

What I’ve learned is that these shutdowns are not failures. They are symptoms. They’re part of the terrain of living with:

• Chronic depression – which can have low-functioning episodes, even after stretches of normal days. It builds slowly and then takes over.

• Anxiety – which can lead to burnout and crashes after periods of emotional overload.

• Neurodivergent experiences – such as ADHD or ASD, where emotional shutdowns and sensory overload are common.

These days are your body’s way of saying: “I need to pause now. I can’t keep pushing.”

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Why Do I Feel Worthless on Those Days?

Because depression lies.

It tells you that your worth is tied to your productivity. That resting is failing. That having needs is weakness.

But the truth is:

• You are not your output

• Rest is not a moral failing

• Your body and mind need space to breathe, too

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What Might Trigger These Episodes?

Sometimes there's no clear cause. Other times, it's subtle things building up over time. Possible triggers include:

• Emotional exhaustion from masking or social effort

• Changes in sleep, diet, or hormonal cycles

• Overstimulating environments

• Feelings of loneliness or unmet emotional needs

• Even weather or moon phases

You might consider keeping a soft journal—not to track performance, but to gently notice patterns and offer yourself compassion when they show up.

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What Helps?

On the Day:

• Don’t fight the shutdown – accept the need to rest

• Be gentle: soft music, cozy blankets, hydration, no pressure

• Use affirmations like: “This is a wave. It will pass. I am not broken.”

The Day After:

• Don’t overcompensate. Start small. One task at a time.

• Ask kindly: Was something building up? Was there something I needed?

• Keep it light: movement, nature, sunlight, connection

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You’re Not Alone

Having a day like this once a month (or more) doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. These days are your body and mind calling for care, not punishment.

To anyone reading this who has their own lost days:
You are not broken.
You are not alone.
You are still worthy—especially on the days when you feel like you’re not.

And if you ever need a gentle plan for those days, a safe space to reflect, or someone to remind you that rest is also a form of healing—I’m here.

With love,
Elli