🌪 When Small Mistakes Feel Like Big Threats

Today, I had one of those moments—a small slip-up that spiraled into something bigger.

I was selling an item online and accidentally overpriced it. A potential buyer pointed it out, and the mistake hit me harder than I expected. Not because of the error itself, but because of the flood of shame and panic that followed.

I noticed how quickly I moved to apologize.
How deeply unsettled I felt.
How hard it was to just let it go.

And then it clicked:

Somewhere along the way, I learned that mistakes aren’t just mistakes—they’re threats.

A voice from the past echoed in my mind:

“When you make mistakes, we lose money.”

That belief took root. It taught me that being wrong isn’t just uncomfortable—it’s risky.
That I have to be perfect to be safe, to be trusted, to be enough.

Suddenly, so many things started to make sense:

• Why I freeze before sending emails

• Why job searching feels paralyzing

• Why I second-guess myself, even in the smallest, lowest-stakes situations

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✨ A Truth 

Mistakes are part of being human.
They’re how we learn, how we adapt, how we grow.

We don’t need to fear them—we need space to make them. Safely. Kindly.

So today, I’m reminding myself—and maybe you too:

💬 You’re allowed to get it wrong sometimes.
That doesn’t make you less worthy.
It makes you real.

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🧠 Unraveling the Root: Why It Feels So Big

Over the past few months, I’ve been slowly unraveling why small social mistakes feel like big threats—especially in work or relationships.

I started to see how past experiences—where love or safety felt conditional—taught me that getting things wrong meant danger.

That belief shaped how I show up today.
It explains the hesitation before clicking "send."
The panic over small pricing errors.
The paralysis during job searches.

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💬 Understanding My Responses

I recognized myself in the “fawn” and “freeze” responses:

• Over-apologizing

• Over-explaining

• Shutting down to avoid conflict

These aren’t flaws. They were my nervous system’s way of staying safe. They helped me survive in environments where mistakes weren’t safe.
Now, they deserve compassion—not shame.

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🎥 Videos & Podcasts That Helped Me

These episodes from Andrew Huberman (Huberman Lab Podcast) helped me understand my body’s reactions, and how to create new patterns:

• "How to Reduce Anxiety" (Ep. 86)
  Breaks down the neuroscience of panic, overthinking, and how to retrain stress responses.

• "Master Stress with Tools Proven to Help You Control It"
  Offers tools to regulate your autonomic nervous system—especially helpful after moments like these.

• "The Science of Making & Breaking Habits"
  If perfectionism keeps you stuck in all-or-nothing cycles, this reframes how change really works.

📺 Tip: I often pause and journal while watching—giving my system space to feel and process.

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🪶 Journaling Through It

Lately, I’ve been journaling when these emotional waves hit me. It helps me slow down and get curious instead of spiraling.

“I feel like I need to be perfect so that no one leaves.
But maybe what I really need is to stay—with myself—even when I’m not perfect.”

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🌱 A New Way of Relating to Myself

What’s changing isn’t just what I do.
It’s how I relate to myself.

I’m learning that healing doesn’t come from fixing every flaw.
It comes from offering myself the safety I didn’t always have.

And in that space,
✨ Mistakes no longer have to mean danger.
They can simply mean I’m human.