Learning to Stand Alone
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By
Elli Z. Georgiadou
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Learning to Stand Alone
Where the Journey Begins
Why Do Some Tasks Feel So Overwhelming?
For a long time, I struggled with certain tasks—especially the ones tied to deadlines or external expectations. It wasn’t always the tasks themselves that were difficult; in fact, some of them I even enjoy when the pressure is off. But the moment they’re expected of me—on a schedule, with a sense of urgency or judgment attached—they feel heavy.
Simple things like booking a doctor’s appointment, calling customer support, or preparing a spreadsheet with client contacts suddenly become overwhelming. Tasks like reaching out to clients to schedule a meeting, or being told, “We need you at that time to book the entrance tickets”—they all start to feel like a test I can’t afford to fail.
It’s not about laziness or lack of skill. It’s the weight of the context, the invisible pressure to perform, to do it right, to not let anyone down. That’s what turns an ordinary task into something I dread.Whenever I had to deliver something, it felt like I was being judged, and that made it incredibly hard to enjoy or even engage with the work. Some tasks would overwhelm me emotionally, adding to the resistance. It felt like I was hitting a wall, and for a while, I blamed myself, thinking I was lazy or incapable.
But understanding why I felt this way was a game-changer. It wasn’t about laziness or inability; it was about emotional pressure and the specific conditions imposed by others. This realization alone significantly reduced my stress.
My experience isn't unique, and there are several common, often unconscious, reasons why tasks can feel stressful or emotionally overwhelming.
1. The Fear of Judgment
When your work is being evaluated, it can trigger significant anxiety. This often stems from past experiences of being judged, criticized, or feeling like you weren't "good enough." The pressure to perform perfectly can make even simple tasks feel incredibly heavy.
2. Loss of Autonomy
Imagine loving to paint, but only when you can choose the colors, the subject, and the time. If someone dictates every brushstroke and gives you a strict deadline, that joy can quickly turn into dread. Tasks imposed by others, with rigid rules or pressure, can feel oppressive, even if you enjoy the activity itself. When you don't have a say in how or when something is done, it often triggers resistance.
3. Emotional Overwhelm
Sometimes, tasks can unconsciously open the door to strong feelings like fear of failure, disappointment, or shame. These emotions might not be obvious, but your body and nervous system pick up on them. Your brain, in an attempt to protect you from these uncomfortable feelings, might make you avoid the task altogether.
4. Negative Associations from the Past
Our brains are incredible at making connections. If a certain type of work or environment has been linked to past stress—like pressure from school, family expectations, or even burnout from a previous job—your brain can automatically associate current tasks with those negative feelings. Even if the task is safe now, it can still feel threatening emotionally.
5. Lack of Support or Connection
Humans are wired for connection and co-regulation. Trying to tackle overwhelming tasks entirely alone can feel much harder. This brings me to an interesting point: while I don’t have ADHD, I’ve found that some strategies used by people who do can be incredibly helpful.
The Power of "Body Doubling"
One such strategy is called “body doubling.” This simply means having someone present while you work on a task. It’s not about them doing the work for you or even actively helping; it's about their mere presence creating a sense of support and accountability.
I’ve started asking my brother or a friend, to sit with me while I work on certain things, and it has made a huge difference. It eases the emotional weight and helps me stay on track. Their presence somehow makes the task feel lighter and more doable.
You're Not Lazy, You're Responding to Pressure
If you find yourself feeling resistant or overwhelmed by tasks that seem ordinary, remember this: you're not broken, and you're certainly not lazy. Your reactions make sense based on your inner emotional world and past experiences. Understanding why you feel this way is the first and most powerful step toward finding strategies that work for you.
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