With Elli

On Healing, Identity, and Becoming Myself Again In the past three years, I didn’t just grow up.                                              Photo by  Alfonso Scarpa  on  Unsplash I got old — not in the way the body does, but in spirit. I poured myself into healing. I focused on my mental health, peeled away layers of fear, shame, and survival. And somewhere in that sacred unraveling, I found someone who truly loved me. Someone who saw me — not my looks, not my effort, not my performance. And for the first time, I let go. I stopped trying so hard. I stopped dressing up, putting on makeup, shaping myself for the world. I stopped performing “beauty.”                                                           ...

Photo by Alex Shute on Unsplash What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is one of the most tender, powerful, and misunderstood human experiences. It’s not about saying “It’s okay” when something wasn’t. It’s about releasing yourself from the weight of pain so it doesn’t define your life. Forgiveness is the intentional choice to stop carrying resentment, anger, guilt, or shame—whether toward others or yourself. It’s not a one-time act, but a process that unfolds in its own time, when you feel safe enough to begin. 🌱 Why Do We Forgive? We forgive not to excuse harm, but to free ourselves from its grip. To stop reliving what hurt us. To reclaim our peace. To live forward, not backward. Forgiveness can bring relief, peace, empowerment , and emotional clarity. It can help us breathe again, let go of bitterness, and rediscover parts of ourselves hidden beneath anger or pain. But forgiveness is not always easy. And it’s not always the right time. ⚠️ When Forgiveness Can Become Toxic...

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash 🌸Hymen and Virginity Many people grow up hearing things about the hymen and virginity that are not true. These ideas can make people feel ashamed, afraid, or judged. So let’s talk about what the hymen really is — and what it’s not. You deserve to know the truth about your body.  🔍 What Is the Hymen? The hymen is a small, soft piece of skin just inside the vagina. It’s not a “seal” that covers the whole opening. Most people are born with a hole in their hymen — that’s how blood comes out during your period. Some people are born with very little hymen at all , and that’s normal too. Every body is different. 💡 Can the Hymen Break? The hymen can stretch or tear , but not only because of sex . It can change when someone: Rides a bike or horse Does sports or dancing Uses a tampon or menstrual cup Masturbates or uses sex toys Has a medical exam Sometimes this causes bleeding or pain — but not always. Some people don...

Today, I feel like... Good. It’s summer, and the sun helps with the mood. The sky is soft and open above the Netherlands — not too hot, not too cold. Twenty-five degrees of just-right warmth, enough to feel alive again. And yet, as I watch the sun shine through the windows, I sit indoors, still. Not because I don’t want to go out... But because I can’t. There is nothing holding me back — except me . I wish I could go outside and enjoy the city. Take a walk. Breathe. Feel the rhythm of the world in motion. But I’ve never gone out alone. Not really. I always walked toward someone. I always returned to someone. But never just with myself. And now, even when I move my leg, just to make a step — I freeze. I feel stuck. My body says no. It feels like standing at the bottom of a massive mountain. I can see the top, shining with light. I can even imagine how it would feel to stand there — free, strong, grounded. But the very first step feels impossible. It feels like death. Because bei...

A Heartfelt Reflection on Love, Responsibility & Self-Awareness In my family, we always had dogs. My mom and dad both loved them—and my mom also adored cats. I always imagined having a dog of my own one day, but when it finally happened, it came in the most unexpected way. My brother found her. She had followed him home one day, probably because his friend was eating a meat sandwich. That little dog—Fouska, we named her (which means “bubble” in Greek)—came into our lives like a spark of light. The moment I saw her, I fell in love with her sweet little face. I had no idea what it meant to be responsible for another life. The good moments, the hard ones. But I did it. And I’d do it all over again. She passed away in July 2021. I miss her every single day. I remember her like it was yesterday. Losing her felt like losing my best friend, my child, a piece of myself. 💭 But What If You’re Not Ready? Lately, I’ve been thinking about a deeper question—one I wish more people would ...

  Photo by Mariia Shalabaieva on Unsplash Dear reader, This little corner of the internet — With Elli — began as a quiet space to write, reflect, and share soft, honest thoughts about life, healing, and everything in between. And now, I’m gently stepping into a new chapter: 🕊️ With Elli is now on social media. This wasn’t a quick decision. As someone who values slowness and sincerity, I’ve often felt unsure about joining the fast-moving world of social platforms. But I realized something: these platforms can also be used mindfully — as places for connection, inspiration, and sharing small pieces of truth with those who might need it. 🔗 You can find all my social media links here: 👉 https://linktr.ee/WithElli Whether you’ve been reading from the beginning or you’re just arriving — thank you. Your presence means more than I can put into words. I hope these new spaces allow us to connect in meaningful, kind-hearted ways. With care, Elli 🌸