Where the Journey Begins

Family: A Place to Breathe or a Cage to Escape?

By Anonymous -

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Family — what is it really? Is it a shelter, a place of belonging, or can it sometimes feel like a cage that limits who we are allowed to be?

I’ve often asked myself these questions. Because for me, family hasn’t always been about safety or love. It has also been about conflict, silencing, and, at times, deep hurt.

Like many others, I’ve seen what happens when disagreements within a family spill over into places no one wants to be — family court. I would not wish that experience on my worst enemy. When disputes turn into battles in front of lawyers and judges, truth gets twisted, sides are taken, and what is left behind is pain.

Me and my brother grew up respecting our family. We listened, we questioned, and we challenged opinions to form our own. Even when we received hatred from some members, we tried to respond with respect and love. We survived as children and teenagers by navigating all the musts, don’ts, and dos that were imposed on us.

And yet, when we grew into our true selves, we were met with a wall of rejection. From one side of our family came a loud no and a flood of hatred — all because we dared to be different and to speak our truth. Not to harm anyone, not to fight, but simply to live authentically and stop forcing ourselves into battles we never chose.

So I ask:

  • Do we need to stay in places where we can’t breathe?

  • Do we need to remain close to people who can’t hold back their ego enough to let us grow?

  • Or can we step away — even if it comes at a cost — to protect our peace and move on?

For me, the answer is clear: I want to live the time I have fully. Life is not forever, and I don’t want to waste it fighting battles that lead nowhere. I don’t wish harm on those who wronged me. I simply wish them their own peace — while I go in search of mine.

A Video That Speaks to This Pain

I recently came across a video from The School of Life that resonated deeply with me:
🎥 Watch here

The film explores what it means to grow up without a strong sense of self — often because childhood didn’t allow for authentic expression. Instead of asking, “What do I like?”, many of us were taught to ask, “What am I supposed to like?”

This is the quiet wound that family dynamics can leave behind: when children are not seen, not allowed to be themselves, and forced into identities that don’t fit. The result is adults wandering the world unsure of who they truly are.

That struck me, because it’s what I’ve lived. And it’s why I feel so strongly about this: parents, adults, caregivers — please study, reflect, and learn. Maybe it’s the closest way we can help children grow into better, freer adults than we ourselves had the chance to be.

Resources & Further Exploration

If this post resonates with you, here are some materials that go deeper into the themes of family, childhood, and healing:

📚 Books

  • The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller — on how childhood wounds shape adult identity.

  • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson — understanding and healing from difficult family dynamics.

  • Families and How to Survive Them by Robin Skynner & John Cleese — a mix of psychology and humor exploring family systems.

  • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk — on trauma’s impact and pathways to healing.

🎥 Videos & Talks

  • The School of Life — Lacking a Sense of Self (the video mentioned above).

  • Brené Brown’s TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability — on authenticity and connection.

  • Gabor Maté’s lectures on childhood trauma and authenticity.

📝 Articles & Resources

✨ My wish for everyone is simple: that we all find peace and balance in the Now — whether with our families of origin, or by creating new ones rooted in love, respect, and freedom.

Elli 🌿


Location: Greece

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