Where the Journey Begins

Living and Learning About ADHD: A Neurotypical Perspective

By Anonymous -

Photo by Mockaroon on Unsplash

ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is something I’ve learned about through people close to me—friends, family, students, and members of the neurodivergent communities I’ve met through my volunteer work. I do not have ADHD myself, but I've always felt a deep need to understand it—beyond the stereotypes and surface-level labels.

This blog post is a reflection of that journey: the questions I’ve asked, the moments that sparked curiosity, the emotional weight of watching someone struggle, and the many ways ADHD reveals its complexity in real life. It’s about what it means to be a neurotypical person trying to support and connect with people who experience the world in different ways.


💭 First Encounters with Neurodiversity

My first direct experience with neurodivergent individuals came through volunteering in:

  • 🏫 A special education school in Evosmos, Thessaloniki

  • 👁️‍🗨️ The School for the Blind in Thessaloniki

  • 🎭 A neurodivergent art/dance/theatre group called Endynami

These environments showed me what empathy in action looks like. I met children and adults with ADHD, autism, and other neurodivergences—each with their own rhythm, language, and beauty. That’s where my curiosity began to grow.

🤔 Questions I Asked Along the Way

As someone without ADHD, I found myself wondering:

  • Why does time feel so different for people with ADHD?

  • Why is it hard for them to start tasks they genuinely care about?

  • What does “executive dysfunction” feel like from the inside?

  • Why do people with ADHD often experience shame around things they can't control?

  • How can I support someone during a shutdown or sensory overload without being invasive?

  • Why do they sometimes misread tone or forget details from a conversation?

  • What does rejection sensitivity feel like, and how can I help reduce its impact in relationships?

These weren’t just abstract questions. They were born out of real friendships, real challenges, and moments when I didn’t know what to say or do.

🧠 What I’ve Learned So Far

As someone who doesn’t have ADHD but has friends and loved ones who do, I’ve been trying to understand what it actually means — beyond the stereotypes. I’ve been learning through listening, watching, asking questions, reading, and reflecting. Here's what I've discovered so far:

💬 From Real-Life Experiences

  • People with ADHD often experience life with more intensity — emotionally, mentally, creatively.

  • It's not just about being "distracted" or "hyper" — it’s about how the brain processes time, emotion, attention, and stimulation differently.

  • Hyperfocus can be just as challenging as inattention — jumping between extremes of too much or too little focus.

  • Rejection sensitivity, emotional overwhelm, and feeling misunderstood are common struggles.

  • Sometimes it’s hard to stick with tasks even when they’re important — not from laziness, but because the brain's reward system works differently.

  • Structure, patience, and compassion make a big difference.

📹 From Videos & Channels

  • How to ADHD — Friendly, research-based strategies with humor and heart.

  • ADHD Love — Honest conversations about ADHD in relationships.

  • Understood.org — Everyday stories, resources, and advocacy.

  • Andrew Huberman – ADHD & Focus — A scientific deep dive into the brain and attention.

  • Robert Sapolsky lectures — On the biology of behavior and how "free will" may not be so simple.

  • [Inside Our Minds (BBC iPlayer)] — A documentary showing what it really feels like to live with ADHD.

🎓 From Online Courses

These have helped me build a more structured understanding:

📖 From Articles & Resources

🧩 From the DSM-5 (Even Though It’s Hard)

Reading parts of the DSM-5 is challenging — the language is clinical and dense — but it helped me:

  • Understand how mental disorders are defined.

  • See how ADHD is diagnosed and what criteria are used.

  • Learn the terminology and patterns that professionals look for.

  • Reflect on the difference between what’s considered a trait, a disorder, or just a different neurotype.

Even though it’s not written for everyday , it gave me words for things I’ve seen or felt but couldn’t always explain.

🤝 Why Engaging with the Community Matters

If you have ADHD—or think you might—it can be incredibly helpful to connect with others who understand. ADHD doesn’t look the same for everyone. Engaging with community means access to shared tools, lived wisdom, new strategies, emotional safety, and the comforting reminder that you’re not alone.

For neurotypical people like me, listening to these stories is a privilege. We don’t have to speak for others—we can amplify their voices, stand with them, and advocate for change in how society responds to difference.

Photo by Holly Stratton on Unsplash
💬 Living with, Not Solving

One of the biggest shifts for me was learning that ADHD isn’t a puzzle to “fix”—it’s a way of being to understand. My role isn’t to manage someone’s ADHD for them, but to create space where they feel seen, heard, and safe.It’s about curiosity instead of control. Support instead of solutions. Compassion without conditions.

🌱 Moving Forward

I’ll continue learning—not just through books or blogs, but by listening. Neurodiversity has reshaped how I see education, friendship, relationships, and even creativity.

This blog is a living document. If you’re also a neurotypical person trying to understand ADHD—whether it’s in your child, your friend, or your partner—I invite you to join me. Ask questions. Stay open. And most of all, honor the different ways people experience life.

Because in those differences, there’s so much to learn.

Location: Netherlands

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