With Elli

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Some days, even when we try our best, it feels oddly difficult to say: “I’m proud of myself. I deserve rest. I deserve a treat.” If you’ve ever found yourself struggling to reward yourself — or even just sit with your own effort — you’re not alone. For many of us, especially those who are deeply empathetic, neurodivergent, or grew up without consistent emotional support, self-kindness doesn’t come naturally. But why?

 — Reflections on Safety, Healing & the Long Shadow of Drug Use —  I remember a time when the light felt different. The way the sun touched my skin — not just warm, but welcoming . The soft heat of the beach sand under my feet. The summer wind from the sea gently brushing against my face. That was my safe space. My safe feeling. Sometimes I still go back there in my mind. Sometimes, I wish I could help others find their version of that — That space where healing becomes possible. That place where difficult thoughts, emotions, and memories don’t feel so loud. Where you finally feel safe enough to begin. We all carry things that are hard to face. For some, it's pain, trauma, or memories they can't put into words. For others, it's regret — for choices made, or paths taken too early. And for many, those difficult things are wrapped up with substances — drugs, alcohol, escape. Drugs can make us feel things we long to feel: Connection. Stillness. Relief. Especi...

🌼 Elli’s Gentle Day Plan For the days that feel heavy There are days when everything feels like too much. The dishes pile up, the light feels too bright, and even brushing your teeth can feel like climbing a mountain. There are also days — and I’m having one of those right now — where you just can’t live today . You don’t want to get out of bed. You want the world to stop for a little while so you can breathe again. What I’m learning is this: These days don’t come from nowhere. Usually, something triggers us emotionally , even if it’s invisible. And we shut down — not because we’re weak, but because our body and heart need to feel safe again. With the help of therapy, I’m slowly learning to look for the source , the little spark that sets off the shutdown. Understanding what triggers me helps me meet myself with more care. But there’s something equally important: 🌷 What brings me back ? What helps me get out of these days when I do start feeling better? I’m trying to no...